Tuesday, September 21, 2010

What AP means for us

For Jason and I, AP means that:
We got rid of our books that teach baby training such as Baby Wise and The Baby Whisperer.
We feed Renee on cue not on a schedule. This is usually when she makes a sucking noise. She does not normally cry for food.
Renee sleeps next to us in a co-sleeper. She naps on our bed and we usually lay beside her to help her fall asleep.
We have a crib but we don't use it. We don't use our playpen either but it holds a lot of toys.
We like to wear Renee in a sling but due to my arthritis it is not always possible so I like to keep Renee by me in the swing or I sit with her on the couch or bed.
We understand and respect that other people parent differently.

Attachment Parenting

I feel the need to post to explain the style of parenting that Jason and I feel very strongly about.

What is attachment parenting? (AP) A lot of people may have not heard of this term. The term is new (ish), but the parenting style is not.
"It's what we would do if we gave birth to our baby on a deserted island, away from the advice of well-meaning relatives and friends, away from all the wildly varying opinions in the baby books. Without the influence of culture, this is how God designed us to be. Intuitively, we feel drawn to meet our baby's need for comfort, security, connection, and closeness with such things as gentle touches, nursing, cuddles, and loving words. We want to be *there* for our baby, and we want to do what it takes to help our baby feel right. " - Gentle Christian Mothering - flowermama

The term itself was coined by Christian Pediatrician and father William Sears.

AP is about anticipating your baby's needs and responding to them. This then creates a deep bond of trust. Babies have a need for continual close contact and this is achieved by sleeping close to baby and babywearing when possible. The time in your arms/bedroom is only a short one yet the memories of love and availability last a lifetime. When babies sleep with or near their parents, especially mom, they are not being spoiled, they are being made to feel secure and accepted.
AP parents feel that:
Babies cannot be spoiled or held too much.
Babies night time needs are just as important as their day time needs.
Babies are designed to breastfeed on cue not on any type of schedule.
Feeding (breast or bottle) a baby is a time for nurturing and communicating love to baby.
Young children need gentle, positive discipline not threats of punishment and harsh words.
God has been gracious to us and we need to be gracious to our children.
A father's involvement in raising his children is vital.
Babies should not be left to "Cry it out" for any reason.
Parenting decisions should not be made based on convenience.
Breastfeeding is beneficial to toddlers as well as babies.
Children's efforts to communicate must be affirmed and valued.
Parents need to be involved, available, and empathetic.
Fear based parenting has no place in gentle, loving, Biblical discipline.
Children need an appropriate mixture of kindness and firmness in a manner that respects their feelings and their developmental, emotional, and daily needs.

For more information see:
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/index.php

http://www.askdrsears.com/




Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Learning about crying

I have been learning a lot about crying. Not just Renee's crying, but my crying. I cried when she got her shots at two months. Then I cried one night while she was in an absolute crying frenzy. I was just holding her and she was screaming and choking and would not eat or take a soother. I felt so terrible for her I was crying to. Then today she was just screaming and screaming. Luckily she latched on but she kept crying while in between swallowing. Then she would pop of and scream some more. I didn't know what to do. I put the soother in and eventually she stopped. I laid there with her and she just stared at me till she eventually fell asleep. Maybe if Daddy was home he could have done something.... as you can see they are a good pair.



I think I am realizing that even though she only has 45 minute naps during the day, they are very important to her, especially the first one of the day.

All in all, since about 5 weeks, she hasn't cried that much. She wakes up smiling and at night she goes to bed smiling too. I guess that's why when she does cry it bothers me so much.
She is usually very happy!
Well I finally figured out how to properly wrap my Moby wrap and we walked with Charla to Walmart and back and she really like it. She slept in it on the way there, facing in, and faced out on the way back.
Going for a ride...the sunglasses didn't fit.